Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
I'm giving you permission to use the abortion money to pay for your DUI.
Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
So shortly after drunk sex...she starts crying and saying..." you don't care about me, you never do anything nice for me" so I called her a cab
i asked a few people if they wanted to make pancakes with me but no one would. thats why i'm drunk by myself right now
also, I just found three random bruises on my knee. probably from when I was velcrod to the stairs
No. I want him to marry me so we can spend our lives together. I also want a to-scale model of his genitals to mount above my fireplace
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
Oh my fucking god you idiot bitch just get here forget about the vodka the fucking cops are looking for you
After you puked in the bathtub you claimed you were never eating quesadillas again and you never even ate a quesadilla
Worst case scenario- he paid me for sex with meatloaf. There are worse thing, right? I mean at least is was good meatloaf.
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
Only I could dislocate my ribcage coaching volleyball and still want to get drunk tonight.
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
Randomize
