Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
Did you ask last night's taxi driver about his penis hygiene?
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
Congrats on having the best tasting nipple at the bar last night.
The bartender just asked me if I owned stock in Jameson. I've been here for less than an hour and he's already judging me.
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
I've had balls on my face twice in last 48 hours and I STILL haven't got laid!
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
I was at a crossroads, dude. Like, do I wanna eat chicken McNuggets or talk about my feelings?
Randomize
