Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
Pick my eyebrow is burning. I'm sitting in the back of dolows vat and listening to jolly music and wilfgang is signing and looking food. Cute kid. Home is where I go now.
what. the. fuck.
For real. Like, if I ever had to choose a last meal, I would just choose to get high and eat whatever was around.
Bitches at mcdonalds acting like they never seen a girl puke in her own coat pocket before
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She kept sniffing my sweater and tried to guess what type of detergent I use.
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
Chris threw beer can at guy. Guy ended up being a fighter. Chris got his eye socket broke. Fighter got hand re-broke. Chris is passed out. Fighter is in kellys bed. everybody won last night. I think.
You would be too ashamed to ever love me again if you saw the filth I just created. It brings unspeakable dishonor to the nacho dynasty. Like I raped the king's daughter, cut off her hands and made him eat them that's how hard I fucked up nachos.
Apparently I took a selfie with fried chicken at 2 am....I'm still trying to figure out where I got the chicken. I thought I was making mac & cheese.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
too bad burritos don't cuddle back
Yeah, oh and the story gets better. His friend was dressed as a christmas tree wrapped in twinkle lights and had to plug himself in the wall all night.
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
God doesn't care if you're a paramedic, you can't do that to someones cat and still get into heaven
I'm sorry, but if I hear stories of you getting fingered in the ass, and selling weed, you are not coming to my party.
i can feel my liver failing just LOOKING at that thing
Randomize