we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
Want updates from david's night out drinking? If so text back DAVID to this number. Std rates apply.
The fact that I woke up with my panties on the counter and a piece of pizza stuck in my sheets is what scares me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
We didn't have sex because he locked himself in the bathroom and passed out while he was taking a shit. I cuddled with his cat.
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
My new dealer was watching Space Jam and eating ham off a frisbee when I went over. He's my new favorite person
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A stripper just invited me to her daughter's birthday. Where did my life go wrong?
I ACCIDENTALLY HOOKED UP WITH A GUY WHO HAS A NICHOLAS CAGE POSTER ABOVE HIS BED I CANT HANDLE LIFE.
The universe is either telling you 1. you make terrible decisions or 2. its time to let go of your hatred of Cage.
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
Someone has big plans this weekend. Just went to throw away the trash and saw packaging for 3 different vibrators on the top of the stack
I got so tired of my roommates fucking in the tub I took a shit in it. Surprise!
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