She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
The less fucks you give, the more fucks you get. Kinda like "a penny saved is a penny earned" but with vagina.
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
HIS TAN HAS PUT ME TO SHAME. HE TOOK HIS PANTS OFF AND HIS DICK LOOKED LIKE A GHOST
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
I puked so hard this morning that I peed my pants. I'm a gem.
They just made me take another shot and I found out the liquor store next to my brothers house has a petting zoo
Mind. Blown.
i almost got into an argument defending my life choices with a guinea pig eating chocolate cake at 4am
My boss's toddler just went through my bag and found your vibrator...you owe me a drink.
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
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