I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
when i was ordering pizza, the guy muffled the phone but i could clearly hear him say "its that drunk bitch again"
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I lost Mario kart three times but I got laid so it wasn't the WORST night I've ever had.
I was randomly pulled aside to have my bag checked. It had 50 condoms in it.
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
I’m on my third beer doing poppers in the shower to no doubt
I know I'm drunk but why am I receiving this handjob through the pant leg of my shorts..?
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
Randomize