My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
Dude there are two smokin hot chicks laying outside my apartment...I almost want to tell them theyre laying where I threw up last night
U should. Its a good ice breaker
Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
An ex-gang member just asked me out on a date via note. And spelled dinner wrong. Win?
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
I hate when people see you passed out in your front yard and call 911. Like what, you can't take a nap face down on your steps at 4pm?
U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life.
How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
She was hiding under the bed to surprise me with sex. But when you took your hookup in my room to bang things out, she thought I was cheating on her. So explain it to her douche.
In case you wake up wondering why your eyes hurt... You were claiming to be Zeus and that mortal weapons couldn't harm you. Some chick took it as a challenge and pepper sprayed you. Sorry dude.
When he was leaving this morning he said I'll text you later on and I replied with if you don't that's cool too.
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
Randomize
