yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
Dude, can't find my socks anywhere....
Yeah, you took a shit in the harbor off a wall, used them to wipe. I'm sure they're still on the beach somewhere if you really want them back
She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
Do you remember anything yesterday that led to needing a cup of couscous in my closet?
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
I got asked to "be the filling in a man sandwich." You don't get to pick the club again. EVER.
I found a loose wire in my thermostat. Couldn't find the pliers, so I used a nipple clamp to fix it.
Hold on I'll be right there, I can't find my arm.
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