drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
i lost my phone in the process of getting a condom out of my hair
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
1. Sorry about making it snow. 2. If it left a mess, I will be over to clean it. 3. Can that fire extinguisher still be used? If not, I'll buy a new one. 4. I just wanted to make it snow!
Of course I lose my iPhone but still manage to hold on to the ruler for my dirty teacher costume
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
We just don't discuss our relationships. It's pretty much like we're single no matter what to each other. And I'm okay with that. ¯\\(ツ)/¯
Last night i walked into a gas station to get condoms. I threw them on the counter and the guy gave me a funny look because i was wearing a bra under an open cardigan and no shoes. I screamed "DONT JUDGE ME!" and he gave them to me for free.
Randomize
