See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
just had to re-breakup with her. it was like shooting a dead horse that was crying and talking.
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
We can't BOTH have terrible sex lives. Get fucked or throw him out.
i wish i could tell my students that all of their lessons plans were brought to them by captain morgan and diet coke. it's like seasame street, only for high schoolers being taught by a student teacher.
I just had to explain to a 5 year old why I had fuzzy handcuffs hidden in a macaroni box under my bed.
I tried to put my heels in the coat check
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
2016 was supposed to be my year of being a ho, but I guess 2017 might be too.
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
He said he doesn't "believe" in cuddling. Can you come get me?
I JUST PETTED A FUCKING SQUIRREL. A SQUIRREL.
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
Are you ok? Who pooped in my office?
Randomize
