toast her oven
toast her strudel
inspect her gadget
dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
Welp, she's chewing our paper towels again. She's like an obnoxiously hot puppy
This girl can open a bottle without using her hands and she's 21. She meets my standards
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
After that song played in the club all he kept drunkenly saying was "Birdman goes brrrrrr"
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
Why are there four guys spooning on the living room floor?
They're still there? Shit. They were supposed to leave after they hugged it out.
You know its a good morning when you wake up with blonde hair extensions in your pocket. . .
Seeing my ex post concert Snapchat videos as an Instagram really reinforces that I made the right choice...
He said it was the classiest hand job he ever had because my nails were painted red. We need to go to nicer bars from now on.
She's chasing the cat around the house hitting it with a cardboard sword yelling "there can be only one!"
Randomize
