I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day.
May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees.
Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
my mom just called and warned me someone is trying to serve me, i feel like i'm playing an extreme game of hide and go seek these next weeks
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
Yuck. My throat feels like someone chucked a couple of Maltov cocktails down it and finished it off with a super soaker filled with Jameson.
Dude, I just hit your nipple with a bottle of lube while you were wearing a shirt, 10 feet away without my glasses and I only have "not bad" aim?
Just met my French neighbor. We watched a crow die together, so we're pretty tight.
I have an ideal penis or slightly above ideal penis in every country that isn't ruined by the specter of communism
I'm upset for all the future generations who can't drunkenly get cheesy bread
Would it be weird if i sent him a "happy fuckiversary" text?
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
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