nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
I could have mohawked her pubes.
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
he keeps trying to sext me and all I can do is respond with descriptions of what im eating.
My cab driver just suggested I brush my teeth because he can smell "the party" on me.
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
And then he said he would build me a mountain dew water fountain
Marry him now.
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
Like sometimes I’ll be hangry but for dick
Randomize
