i'm lost and i look like a hooker
i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.
I'm watching i used to be fat. I've been doing crunches for the last half hour yelling at the slut on tv to stop crying and do crunches.
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
I walked in on him successfully eating chips and masturbating at the same time. I don't know whether I should be ashamed or proud.
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
NO SHITSVILLE I just saw a homeless dude punch a pigeon that flew by him
I try not to have friends with attractive fathers, it only brings my morals down.
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
You know you're too drunk when you start calling people out for unfollowing you on social networks.
I think my sex life is about to turn into a war on two fronts
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
Actually I learned to fire a 357 Magnum at the age of ten while on my very first period
Randomize
