In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
So baked. Thought the twigs on the sidewalk were caterpillars with the ability to harden in self defense. Had to pick one up to be sure.
so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
Just gave a blow job while wearing a shirt that says 'world's coolest mom' idk how my conscience feels...
i would have fingered myself to death by now but the dog wont stop staring at me
I knew it was all downhill from there when the straight vodka I was drinking tasted like water.
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
Randomize
