all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
apparently i saved myself a memo last night titled "cake" and all it says is "i love it so much"
It's probably just the physical manifestation of slut karma. But i of course mean that in the kindest way possible because i love you and respect your choices
The only thing that made me get out of bed this morning was knowing that tonight, I don't plan on remembering what happened today
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
Beer coozy in the gym. Don't judge me.
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.
all I've ever wanted was a guy with twelve cats who will tie me up in bed
It's no shave November. This is our time.
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
Randomize
