I must be too annoying 4 u.
This is not my ceiling
why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
I live vicariously through you. No one mistakes me for a hooker anymore. I look like a stay at home mom of three. On bad days of four.
My ideal friend would be my dog as a drug dealer
My date bailed but I got to take a nap so I'm cool with it.
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
Life if anyone rolls up to my funeral with shitty weed get them out of there
I now know he's been cheating for a while. I also know HER name, address, phone number, Facebook account, religion and zodiac sign. I feel like I'm earning my restraining order. Point is, never fuck over a librarian.
I am so so sorry I bit your butt last night. Twice.
Randomize
