Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
He has a chalkboard tally in his bathroom of "Me vs. Toilet". He's losing.
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
We are going to the humane society and getting you microchipped so you don't get lost on your birthday. Either that or your getting a child leash
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
I may have had several rum punches and then gone to the store and used European cucumbers to prove my baton twirling prowess.
I was sprawled on his bed and heard him and a girl walk in the apartment. I jumped out the window and am walking down main street wrapped in an american flag blanket. Can you pick me up?
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
I got conspiracy theory drunk.
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