I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
I was so high I couldn't tell if they were goosebumps or herpes.
i just ate two sandwiches and am debating booty calling my landlord
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
If he's dead I'm so gonna get the blame. I have his passport, keys and his tooth in my purse.
if I die on the way please explain to my mother that I do not wear fishnets on a regular basis
Just had a 40 min argument about how many celebrity guest appearances on Sesame Street were court ordered for DUIs.
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
I got really upset about missing him last night when I was demonstrating penis sizes of the people I've slept with using a tape measurer to my roommates
Rough day
Good thing I've started drinking again
I need to learn how to not be a fucking liability
Hey now one little girl thought it was cool I was covered in blood. Apparently according to her Mom she wants to be a surgeon when she grows up
Well now I’m in the bathroom puking up absinthe so guess I beat myself up over it one way or the other
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