Last night he was fingering me with one hand to his ear, calling himself 'dj clittles'
Thats what happens when go home with guys that wear shutter shades to the bar..
Your vagain smells worse when im sober.
sorry, worng number
my mom is pro-life. I dare you to fuck me.
I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
We tried having a conversation with our noses.
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
you came out with your cock in between the legs of a balloon animal. Maybe she'll think you have a sense of humor.
What kind of balloon animal was it?
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
I wonder if the fact that I'm listening to the theme from lion king gives my neighbors the impression that im tripping faceeeee
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
"I wonder if vinegar is some sort of magical hangover cure" "...no I was definitely still drunk and drinking vinegar because I was thirsty"
It all started with a game of naked twister.
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
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