brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in
I filled two of the glass ornaments in my mom's bathroom last night with vodka. That way no one sees me drinking on Christmas. Alcoholic or genius? All I know it makes bathroom trips frequent and enjoyable.
I want to get so drunk, you will need subtitles to understand me. Rough week.
I swear to god little potato creatures live inside Belvedere bottles and claw at your throat as you swallow shots.
I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date.
tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
THERE IS A BABY THAT ISN'T MINE THAT'S GOING TO HEAR ME BEING SEXED!
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
Maybe it’s too soon to casually tell the boss that I went to Tulsa for some dick last night
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
Randomize
