i left the bar a little after you and ended up flipping my car in the arbys drive thru
Could you please tell them to stop whispering "thundercunt" every time I walk in the room?
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
You're the only true friend I have, if true friendship is based off who would be there for me at 4am during a boxed wine crisis.
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
I wonder if a fish could survive in vodka
I could
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
There's some band that practices next door to my apartment. I'm thinking we may need to check that out. I could be like, "Hey boys, thought you might like some lemonade and vagina."
Desperate times call for desperate measures. But he promised me no small talk so that was nice
I took a vibrator for a weekend with my parents instead of a boyfriend. I obviously have my life together.
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
I just saw a guy walking up the stairs with his dick out his pants. I let him know, and he just looked down in shock, laughed, and continued walking up the stairs.
Randomize
