i just walked into a room at this party and someone yelled "dibs!"...
she called my cock the "semen sword" and then we invented a position called excalibur
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
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she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
How many times can I tell him that I wasn't expecting sex before he finally figures out that I'm just too lazy to shave?
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
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Where is a good place to buy a New Year's outfit that acknowledges I don't have tits but screams I suck dick like a champ?
how is telling me how long you drunkenly fucked someone supposed to make me miss you?
Excuse me while I download incredibly disturbing porn until I'm more ashamed of myself than of my country.
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
My roommate's overnight guest is screaming about the dog licking his asshole. I need a new place to live.
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