And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
I know I'm all grown up when I don't have to take my pregnancy test in the store bathroom anymore.
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
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In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
She sprinted out of the bathroom and ran all the way into the middle of the street. Five minutes later she came back with a banana nut muffin. She's that kind of drunk.
Lives are in shambles. Livers are in disrepair. Our friend was missing for 2 days. His brother slept in a porta potty. God damn you college world series
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
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Are you alive?
I googled "I don't want to vomit anymore," and "how to rip out your uvula," at 9 am this morning, but I'm still here. Uvula and all.
YOU STOLE THE WEDDING CAKE?!?!
Only one tier
Tastes like cardboard anyway
I just gave her a sobriety test in the middle of the baking aisle.
And the results, officer?
She's fucked.
Showing girls my stab wound was not the brilliant idea I thought it was.
Like I wasn't going to make out with the hot Australian sitting next to me at the Portland blazer game?
Turns out my mom didn't really want to know I was in a new dimension last night from smoking so much.
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