can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
Woke up in the front yard with a chalupa and a firecracker in my back pocket. It's what the founding fathers would want
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
I am significantly less than sober now. Gonna make like, ten hotdogs.
So I found where you barfed in my house. Just wanted to let you know that my cat barfed on the kitchen floor in a show of solidarity
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
Note to self: Never spend $8 on a liter of rum again
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
Soooo I think my neighbor just saw me masturbating on my porch
my roommate had drunk sex above me in our bunk bed and then built me a fort to apologize the next day
I was afraid I was gonna get a URI, so I peed on his front porch.
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
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