What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
i just saw a man pushing two thirtys of beers in a stroller while his little kid ran to keep up. father of the year
Her birthday cake consisted of a shot of tequila with a candle in it
whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
my bedside table was not meant to hold this many beer bottles.
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
If you're trying to subtly tell me that I look like Connie Chung, just stop it. I already know.
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
Just pulled back my covers. Jizz. Jizz everywhere. Hipster jizz everywhere on my only set of sheets.
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
I got dressed on his front steps, peed on his neighbors lawn, then did a shoeless walk of shame home at 5am...
saw a dude wearin soccer cleats at the bar tonight. fuckin kiddin me man?
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
Jack said he hasn't jerked off in like two weeks and he's like a smoldering volcano who wants to bury you like Pompeii with his man gravy
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