You can only be slapped by Eastern European waitresses so many times. I guess they don't want my huge cock in their iron curtain
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
I'm still trying to figure out how you came back with chinese food, and a spoon covered in icing saying 'cake..'
I think the multiple Sunday morning sirens outside my window are a plot by the cops to get back at me for the shit we pulled last night. Or I should move to a better area.
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I don't care. I'll text you about my butthole whenever I please. That's what you signed up for in this relationship.
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
Literally the only reason we didnt get arrested was because the cop said I reminded him of Steve Stifler from American Pie
So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
Trust me. My dick only does selfies for you.
Drunk you wants to be petty, not you you.
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
So my ex just asked for my address to send me his wedding invitation... in Europe. Awesome.
That’s basically a green light to fuck his dad
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
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