just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
Umm you don't wanna know how many "I'm sorry for calling you last night" fb wallposts I just had to write...
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
Dude turns out her best friend is lesbian...there is no wingman for this situation
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
I'd like to personally thank you for not letting anyone puke in any of the salad bowls this time
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
Multiple bruises and a hell of a headache later, I have still to find out where the fuck I picked up the bottom half of a mannequin.
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
Please assure him that the flying penis statue is for display purposes only.
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
Dude I used amphetamines responsibly today though. I snorted one in the am for work and then chewed one in the pm for other work. I'm an adult.
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
Randomize
