if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
godspeed.
You told him your wedding ring was part of your costume. not okay!!
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
Fell off bed. Face first. 10 stitches. huge scar on forehead. totally going to start telling ppl my parents died fighting Voldemort.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the doctor brought back painful memories by lecturing me about your teeth marks that are still on my dick.
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know those twins i had a crush on in grade school? Just woke up between them. Best. Party. EVER.
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
I just got high off one hit and the. Spent 20 minutes inspecting the gasket of our refridgerator and researching ways to replace it
you said you couldn't hang because you had to masturbate and feed your lizard
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
Randomize