you know what i hate about salt? you can't see it.
yeah. then i thought it would be a good idea to show them how hairy my armpits were, so they'd be distracted from the bush in my pants. EPIC FAIL.
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
one of the cashiers from Kroger is eating at my kitchen table and nobody knows why.
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls
My ex just sent me a message asking if she could blow me, but only if we get caught by her new bf. If she promises to swallow I'm doing it.
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
My legs r really sober for running now
I don't think that's how sobriety works.
All I'm saying is that if he knows his wife walks around naked during the day, he shouldn't bring a friend home for lunch and show up unannounced.
what happened to you last night?
I dunno man, i pissed in a urinal, sent you a picture of my vagina and woke up with 25 bar stamps on my arms.. you tell me
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
I'm currently using a band-aid to cover my bar stamp from last night while I ask my professor for an extension. That's a sign of getting more responsible, right?
The high school classes are online, not my sex life. He still comes over for “teacher / parent conferences.” A couple more “conferences” and I’ll be able to rewrite the Sex Ed curriculum
Randomize
