At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
All I remember was the chick screaming "don't hookup with him! His dick's the size of a cucumber"
My favorite part about you getting arrested is having to explain the prosthetic leg in the front seat.
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool
Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
I'm sure nobody at Walmart was wondering why I was wearing a glittery tutu and needed $300 changed into small bills
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
Randomize
