Dude, totally just found out that I've been washing my hair with semen for the past 3 weeks.
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
My professor just gave us a margarita recipe.
Why?
Because, and I quote, he "wants to give us the tools to succeed in life."
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
The ketchup exploded, and totally splooged his face and the wall. You could see the outline of his head in the wall splatter.
I'm buying groceries with adderoll. I hope I'm never this broke again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I would say "man cannot subsist on sexting and brownies alone" but I think it's actually possible.
I'm gonna write a book. Almost Awesome: all the times I ALMOST got laid.
I'm honestly wondering if my vagina did something to offend the universe
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
God help them if any millennials are in the vicinity. Rent is too high and we no longer fear death
I sharted in court today and had to sit on it for about three and a half hours.
Randomize