i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
Accidentally just signed something at work 'lotus flower' I need to keep my stripper life separate from real life.
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
If I die I am blaming you for not answering to tell me the proper dosage of horse tranquilizers to take
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
I think I was using my hair to catch my vomit last night.
You were.
On a lighter note, my mom and I were playing scattergories, and for "things that you keep hidden" we both put dildo. Proof that we really are related.
Our friendship would be less complicated if your dad didn't think I was forcing you into having gay sex with me
I renamed his cat Jeff last night. Well I spray painted it on him.
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
I'm fucking sick of guys. I think I'm going to date myself. No drama. And I know I'll always put out.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
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