watching a tv show about cocaine.. just explained to my mom why the test monkey chose coke over food
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
I puked last after eating a volcano taco and drinking vodka. I felt like a fucking dragon.
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
Dear God. I kissed a man tonight who was born in 1936.
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
Also I played a weird game of chicken in the ladies room at work between myself the person pooping 2 stalls over and a very determined maintenance man.
You were drunkenly dancing with a statue you affectionately referred to as "The Captain." I wasn't going to deny your happiness.
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.
I still dont see how i drunkenly impressed your mom
I just met his mom for the first time with a hang over. Then we went to watch his 8 year old cousin get baptized. Apparently his family loves me. I should drink more often.
Randomize
