And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
Note to self. Champagne flavored lube is neither as tasty nor as classy as one might think.
My chemistry professor just asked me if I ever found a ride home from the bar last Saturday
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
The staff doesn't like it when you try and take your wheelchair for a joy ride since I've been waiting for an hour and a half.
It's amazing I mean I blew that senator just for him to deny me marriage.... Politics suck and he swallowed!
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
Sometimes a girl needs 4 shots of whiskey in her diet coke at 5 in the afternoon and i feel no shame in admitting that girl is me
I'm sorry you caught us fucking in your bathroom. If it makes you feel any better when I tried to put my pants back on I dropped them in the toilet.
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
He was singing on top of spaghetti, and then started crying. He said it was the saddest song ever, "so so sad".
Randomize
