But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
Where were you when I was single???
Still in diapers.
If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
Any day that starts with a call from my ex-bf... crying... is a good day.
Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
I'm going to fuck my way out of the friend zone if its the last thing I do
Aaaand my life has been reduced to whether I can reach to flush my puke down the toilet using my foot. The answer is yes.
He just showed up with a bottle of wild turkey a half a can of coke and some marshmallows yelling "gobble gobble bitches" my roommates hate my cousin
Honestly I'm not even that excited to see my boyfriend. I'm more excited to see his penis. His penis inside of me.
The lady at walmart just said she is so happy im still alive....Was i that drunk on the 4th? Dont answer that
When we pulled over so you could pee, you made us stand over you and "make a roof"
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
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