so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
I'm sorry I peed on your everything.
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
Thanks be to the Goddess of Whores!! I straightened my bed before Ken got here. Found Calvin's boxers in the sheets!!!!
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
I'll get you through man, I'll be your fairy godmother with better prescription drugs
Just found dollar bills in my sheets. What part of the weekend am I forgetting?
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
My therapist keeps stopping to ask what 'hooking up' means
ITS ORAL SEX CAROL
I think "we've never met sober" is a great relationship to have with someone
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
I don't really feel bad about it, but I legit just squirted in the back of an Uber and it makes me think how many times has this happened before?!?!
You are allergic to dogs. DO NOT kidnap something you are allergic to. No matter how fluffy.
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