So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
The trip involved octopus tentacles coming from the little holes in my TV's speakers. The beauty of the nonexistant symbolism had me in tears.
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
My cab driver just suggested I brush my teeth because he can smell "the party" on me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I literally just ordered a gold medal online that is engraved with his name, "01.01.16", and "BEST SEX EVER"
Can't be like "hey can you elaborate on this three year old tweet" can I?
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
You're a wizard. You are a master of disguise. You are beautiful. I love you.
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
she was all excited about us being eskimo sisters and then i was just like "alyssa i've literally been inside of you" and she got even more excited
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