i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
Fist pumping is hard when country music is playing FYI but I am committed
I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just dropped $150 at the liquor store. No power and two feet of snow has taken my alcoholism to another level.
You rubbing siracha on a cat with your feet is the opposite of what I want.
Wait, you seriously DON'T keep vodka in your backpack??!??!?
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This chick just walked by and pet my beard. Don't know, never talked to her. She just walked by and pet my beard.
Marry her
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
The fact that you got a stranger guy to buy you a pizza off tinder makes me feel amazing
I'm watching Netflix with my cats and eating homemade bread. Everyone and everything can go and fuck itself.
He just turned down phone sex for hockey and I'm so relieved I'm fucking a straight guy that I'm barely even mad
I hate when pretentious people talk bad ab corn dogs
Randomize