This girl told me I had the balls of an infant..I replied by saying her vagina looks like Stargate.
trust me, there is no more disappointing feeling in the world than waking up at 4 in the morning with a random half naked chick in your bed and then realizing your roommates girlfriend just wandered into the wrong room.
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
Just think, this time last Cinco de Mayo you were holding me up and finding me passed out in the yard of that house.
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
Made eye contact with his twin sister the day after he gave me a lifechanging blowjob. Do you think she knows?
So vagazzling was a success
I’ve jerked off three times and taken five shits already today. Being hung over in your 40’s is a fucking roller coaster.
Randomize
