there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
I shouldn't have to thank you for taking off your captain hat off before we had sex
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
How can I explain how nice he is to you? ...like, I'm going to have to have my world famous why being a douche is sexy talk.
I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
At least I had a $10 coupon for Plan B today. Smart shopping for bad decisions
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
Where's the chopping off someone's balls emoji
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
After he finished, he fell on the floor and whispered "finally satisfied"
Randomize
