i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
And the clouds opened up and the sex gods said I hate you alfalfa
You were sending me snapchats from a bathtub with your beer helmet on and your boobs out.
True love: he brought me a margarita while was in the shower. He's a keeper.
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
I blew him while the canoe was sinking...I think of it as the better version of the titanic
I wanna get a tattoo next to my tattoo that says, my ex did this so don't fucking ask
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
I went looking for them and I pulled my pants down and peed on the lawn. I found my phone in the same spot in the morning.
I'm at the fucking ritz Carlton and I would leave here to cuddle with her. Not even fuck, just cuddle. What th hell is wrong with me?
I think it's called love, bro
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