My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
So last night I taught an old homeless dude to respond to "Blue" so I could shout your my boy Blue at the party
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
I like how she'll post a picture on Instagram with her boyfriend and 2 hours later you'll send me a snap of her panties on your rear view mirror
This guy on tinder just told me that he wanted to tie me up and asked me what I thought. I told him I wanted tacos
You know it's a good night when the word slut is imprinted on your ass and your hands smell like lube.
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
I’m good. I learned that a guy ate the mushrooms that were growing out of his toilet, so there’s that.
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