The night was doomed the minute I started taking shots with an apple as a chaser.
Life lesson. Learning to pee left handed is easier than learning brickbreaker left handed. Rather lose a few drops than a few lives
that's probably because you left your arm in the fishtank for 90% of the night
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
I just looked at a girl and was like what disease does she have? And then my mind caught up ohhh shes pregnant.
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
sweating bourbon at client mtg -- you?
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
The moment I said this burrito on my nuts feels really good is the moment I knew I was drunk
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
Tolerating him while I'm not drunk is like trying to find a word that rhymes with orange
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
We went to the midnight donut shop and you hopped the counter and told everyone to "Get the Fuck out of your Bar" but to also "Make yourselves at home".
Randomize
