I just gave my whole company pinkeye. How's that for a summer intern's lasting impression? BOOYAHH
70 feet underwater and I sharted my wetsuit, Tide pen won't clean this up.
i just put a booger in my mom's hair and i just needed to tell someone.
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I know I know. I considered playing it sober but after I typed out IS SHE A GENIE? I knew it was impossible to hide.
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
We have video of him nailing the sex doll to my wall and putting all the monopoly pieces in her nose
Walked girl from last night to car as gf was driving up. Got slow clap from neighbors.
i think i have weasels eating my brain. Also there is a skeleton staring at me from the back of the bathroom door. it's an awkward vomit. come find me please
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
Go to hungover. Go directly to hungover. Do not pass go. Do not collect 200 dollars
I got asked to "be the filling in a man sandwich." You don't get to pick the club again. EVER.
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
So she said she could really go for a cheeseburger and I remembered I had one in my pocket. No idea where it came from.
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