im pretty sure i just dented her unborn child.
No, i'm not gonna let you give me a footjob on the floor of the cheesecake factory. C'mon.
see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it
There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You may see me on espn tomorrow drunk, half naked, and selling articles of clothing to rich cougars like i did last year, but i will NOT be drinking shitty beer
You fell on your face and the waitress just brought you a fresh drink
His penis is literally smaller than my cell phone. I can't go out like that.
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
I will come to your office dressed as a bloody mary, hug you then leave is that a good plan?
yes. bring a barf bucket too. just. in. case.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My Grandma made me promise not to drink more beer, so I'm chugging wine.
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
I am dancing alone in my bathroom because I was paranoid the neighbors were watching through the windows
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
I expected my Sunday morning walk of shame dressed as a sexy Dorothy would get some scorn, but nobody seems to even care
That’s because it’s 2020. The slutty costume walk of shame is a refreshing reminder of a time when wearing masks and catching communicable diseases was a right of passage, not everyday for the foreseeable future.
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