my girlfriend just informed me I need to get tested and so do you
girlfriend?
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
I threw up sweet potatoes. Worst thing to throw up ever. They came back mashed.
My Valentine's Day plans just drastically changed... My F buddy just ran into my gf...in my driveway.
Bitch, I been tryna reach you all day to talk to you about these Dorito tacos.
She has a tattoo on her inner thigh that's an x with a long dotted line. So after she passed out I signed it. Dunno what else I was supposed to do...
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
Hate my fucking roommates.... Seriously, who the FUCK peels potatoes in the bathroom sink?!
Nothing says I'm doing some sketchy shit like coming out of your bedroom with your underwear inside out
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
Randomize
