Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
Dude, it's gettin so bad even my fantasies just wanna be friends.
I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
$1 margaritas. This happy hour needs to end.
He gave me his business card. It was a Justin Bieber trading card with his number written in sharpie. I have to call him don't I?
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
I don't want a baby! I JUST WANT AN ORGASM THAT ISN'T SELF INFLICTED.
My trash can accurately represents my weekend: Bojangles wrappers and magnums.
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
Swear to god, somebody just drove by with mickey mouse in their passenger seat and he waved at me.
Randomize
