it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
thanks for celebrating my birthday so severely 2 years ago. i just found your hospital discharge papers in my closet.
anything for my little brother.
Hey can we break in your window? We need to borrow the dog.
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
My makeup looks extraordinary for nine tequila shots, running four blocks, falling asleep with my face in the toilet, and doing the walk of shame across campus in the rain. And to think I'm single.
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
YOUR TO-DO SEX LIST CANNOT CONSIST ENTIRELY OF MY THREE BEST FRIENDS
and their significant others
AND THEIR SIGNIFICANT OTHERS
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
Randomize
