those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
my mom just used "raw dog" in a sentence correctly, time to move out.
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
Just heard the words 'Pussy Riot' on NPR...I almost crashed my car.
I beat my mom's friend's boyfriend in a vodka chugging competition. Our generation FTW.
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
Simultaneously sexting while making brunch plans. Multitasking at its gayest.
PS- My flight is being emergency landed bc someone smuggled cats on the plane.
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
I'll talk to you in a minute. Gotta put my peacocks away
There's a difference tho. *I* drink at seven in the morning because I work graveyards. YOU drink at seven in the morning cause you're an alcoholic.
Randomize
