We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
I feel like this woman may give her husband a hand job mid way through dinner. just saying.
I really wish i had a penis so i could dick slap that bitch right now
Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
just spent the last 4 hours searching ex-girlfriend porn to make sure there are no photos of me
I love when I'm alone in the house. It's like pants were never invented.
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
Casually had to file a missing persons report last night
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
Sorry brah. Drastic times called for drastic measures and I had to go home and bang a cougar.
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
Joke’s on you. I got to talk to a furry about why nukes are bad and why musicals are good.
Randomize
