I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
When she showed me how she could touch her toes without bending her knees, suddenly her face didn't worry me quite as much.
she just built a cabin out of hotdogs and cooked it in the microwave.
now she is shaking the plate and mumbling "this is what california must feel like"
Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
im hiding in a corner. drunk. with a plate of stolen jello shots. im pretty sure people are looking for me or the jello shots.
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
theres a note on the fridge that says "guess what i peed in" and a half-full bottle of apple juice front and center. why did you let him in the house?
Would I be bad if I bought a pregnancy test at shoppers the same time I hand in a resume? Or do you think it would get me the job?
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
I threw up in the kitchen on the floor and a guy tried cleaning it up with a spoon at a party.
Saying someone's good at giving head is like saying someone is good at pouring juice like there is that one girl who will spill it everywhere but for the most part it's not that hard to be good at
Not gonna lie, Wednesday was the perfect day to get laid off, all I've done since is watch the Simpsons marathon
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
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