I almost didn't wake up for my first day of work. The 3rd bottle of champagne was a mistake. And the 2nd bottle of wine after that was probably excessive
when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
I woke up with fried rice in my sweatshirt pocket came downstairs and found all the chicken in the fridge gone. I'm THAT roommate aren't I?
Just found my mom passed out in my bed holding a bag of wine. Not sure if I'm ashamed or proud.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
Apparently I was holding on to a pizza crust for hours last night.
Walking down the street at 11 pm dressed in bubble wrap. Why is the bar so fucking far away??
Just peed on my foot. Thank you Sunday hangovers.
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My Saturday dick is so much more impressive than my Tuesday dick.
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
Just sitting here contemplating the meaning of life.
So you're drunk waiting for the bus.
College has done two things for me. Given me the confidence to blow my nose in public and shit in public
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
I offered to trade my cat for a bottle of tequila as long as it had a handle on it and realized I had a problem
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