The taxi driver was cool until you left. He then started blasting enya and telling me I look like I need another line.
I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
100% truth: never tied someone to a bed using 4 pairs of sweatpants before
Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.
And that's the fourth pair of yoga pants with unwashable stains from you.
Well he was saying something about being emotionally unavailable since his dad died, but then I blew him in a tree and he shut up
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
I just found those cheese sticks in my purse. Along with a handful of confetti.
Hahah I’ve never had someone stop me mid-coitus to tell me how amazing I am. Def ego boost.
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
Randomize
