I want to stick my p in your. b.
I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
He tipped the stripper with quarters. After that not even the waitress would talk to us. I had to move to another table to get a lapdance
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
But i don't feel like talking to him right now. I woke up an hour ago to a picture of his penis and I AM NOT A MORNING PERSON.
Get this. Chipped my front tooth taking a sip of a gay mans beer out of my cleavage. Fuck my fucking life. that'll be fun to explain to my dentist
Idk if I woke up next to a cat or raccoon. either way it's purring.
I'm going to get pregnant and die... Mean Girls warned me about this but I didn't listen
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
There is nothing wrong with watching parks and rec all day then getting blackout drunk by night
I am stoned, not wearing a bra, and a woman. There is no way in fuck I am getting on a fucking bus.
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
Randomize
