doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
an ex called crying about her current BF. convo ended in phone sex. i love emotional wrecks
I miss your penis. And I totally say this as a friend. I just miss it because it's great. You should be very proud of it.
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
This dude. Just lost. A finger. He asked us for tape.
And the clouds opened up and the sex gods said I hate you alfalfa
im at work. we just had a random 14-year-old amish girl come in and gift us with cinnamon rolls as thanks for letting her use the bathroom. i dont even know.
Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.
It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
"She's seriously grinding on him while whispering into his ear, 'take me to McDonald's.'"
Apparently I came into our room and told her that there should be a zipline from our window to Walgreens so that I could get chicken noodle soup
Hey, thanks for not calling the cops when I answered the door naked, high as fuck, and covered in red velvet cake batter.
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
Randomize
