It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
She looked at it and said "your dick is like the golden gate bridge."
You don't have a wife, you don't have a dog, and you need a new bong. Don't make this any worse than that.
You motherfucker. I just had an MRI with a penny under my boob.
If I had a dick, I'd stick it in some Oreo pancakes
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
Made him watch 4 hours of HGTV then told him I was too tired for sex.
Savage
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
the most terrified I've ever been was seeing Danny Devito squirming on the ground in this underwear, covered in hand sanitizer, completely hairless
I just drunkenly emailed my feminist dissertation as a resignation letter for my call center job. What am I doing with my life!?
Randomize
