you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
A true measure of a good friend is how long she responds to her friends drunken illogical texts. Youre a champ.
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
Watching Faye Reagan porn all weekend for St Patty's day. Nothing has ever seemed more appropriate.
How do I put this... You're dating Ricky from Trailer Park Boys. Stop eye-fucking him and actually listen to what he says for once. He actually said "I self-learned that myself, basically" while rolling a joint. He's worse than your unskilled magician ex that accidentally cut off three of his own fingers
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
That awkward moment when you hear your boss yelling during sex while you're on her couch eating Easy Mac.
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
Randomize
