Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
I'm eating oreos and watching porn. This is your fault.
Why are you ignoring all of my texts?
The power was out.
Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
I already wrote the apology to my liver. He knows whats up
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
Could someone please explain the rug burn on the right side of my face and do I need a shot of penicillin?
Can I steal her, take her home, and feed her only vodka?
Omg having my Grindr go off at the planned parenthood is just not okay
Me and tommy were trying to figure out why our printer was jammed, found a condom stuck in the paper slot. #collegeprobs
I just chugged whiskey at 7 AM because going to breakfasts at Brendas doesnt seem right if Im not real drunk. I feel like when Brenda takes my order she can tell Im drunk and will take care of me.
Randomize
