Everytime she opens her mouth it's like a fucking terrorist attack on my life.
My superpower would be to be able to make a chick instantly start her period just by thinking about it
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
I asked him if his doormat had a name, then proceeded to sit on it for the next 30 minutes while signing that magic carpet ride song from aladdin.
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it.
She once gave me sex advice over the phone while intoxicated. So no you don't have the cooler therapist.
I just remembered that last night I ate nachos off of someone else's table with a stranger
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
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